It turns out one of Cartoon Network’s most popular kid shows isn’t just for kids. Adventure Time with Finn & Jake has developed a cult following among young adults and regular adults. The show’s got all the makings for a great kid program: wacky antics, lovable characters, and jokes about butts. But what is a cartoon without its well-placed sexual innuendos and double entendres? Well, Adventure Time has plenty of that, which is naturally lost on the children but enjoyed by the older generations. So, if you’re going to sit down and watch a cartoon weeknights after your nine-to-five job, you might as well do it with drink in hand.
– Naturally, the first rule is to drink every time it’s inappropriate for children. This includes all of those beautiful innuendos we just talked about.
– Drink every time they replace a swear word (most often with a made-up word, like “glob” or “gob”).
– Drink every time they say the word “butt.” This one’s for the kids. I mean kids can’t drink, but you know what I mean.
– Drink if you see the snail. For anyone who’s ever enjoyed the thrill of a scavenger hunt like Where’s Waldo.
– Chug every time someone sings a song. The chug must last through the entirety of the musical number, no matter how gloriously it is autotuned.
Through my experience with this particular game, I’ve noted that the episode “Beautopia” is the best one to play to, so I’ll be recording the results to that.
Due to my own incompetence at scavenger hunts, I could not find the snail in this episode. They also didn’t say the word “butt.” However, what this episode lacks in snails and butts, it more than makes up for in every other rule.
The hair was revealed within the first 3 minutes of the 11-minute episode. So, not only did you have to chug your entire drink early on, you had to then make a second drink to continue playing (which you have to in this kind of social experiment).
There was one instance of sexual innuendo towards the end of the episode, and two replacement swears, all three of which warranted drinks.
But the most effective rule was the shape shifting rule. My tally counts that Jake shape-shifted (not stretched, I’m talking full-on shape shifting) a total of six times. He morphed into a clam, a dolphin, among others. It happened so frequently that even the motion of raising your glass to your lips six different times in such a short span will make you tipsy.
Finally, the song. There was a total of one song this episode, but it lasted a good twenty seconds. When you think about that in chug time, it’s a lot. And it happens shortly after Finn’s hair is revealed, so this episode could potentially warrant three separate drinks.
Drunk-o-meter: Dude, you’re drunk.